I read recently about Korihor who tried to convince believers in God and Christ that they were crazy. I realized that some of the things he says are what my fears sometimes say to me:

“…no man can know of anything which is to come.” (Alma 30:13)

“…ye cannot know of things which ye do not see…” (Alma 30:15)

“…it is the effect of a frenzied mind…” (Alma 30:16)

It seems like I frequently have thoughts like this after a spiritual witness. — things like, “Are you sure that was real?” or “Do you think you just imagined that because you wanted it to be true?” These thoughts remind me of a quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell. He shared:

“So often in life a deserved blessing is quickly followed by a needed stretching. Spiritual exhilaration may be quickly followed by a vexation or temptation. Were it otherwise, extended spiritual reveries or immunities from adversity might induce in us a regrettable forgetfulness of others in deep need. The sharp, side-by-side contrast of the sweet and the bitter is essential until the very end of this brief, mortal experience.” (Enduring Well)

I realized that my spiritual experiences in some ways are preparations for when the stretching, temptation, or contrast comes. And with that in mind, the temptation or fear itself actually can in fact be a testament in a way — confirming that what I experienced was real. This relates to how Alma responded to Korihor in the end:

“…all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.” (Alma 30:44)

Really, everything can be an evidence of God’s existence — it depends on our perspective. Faith is a choice. Even resistance itself can be evidence for my faith if that’s the way I choose to see it. My HWN this week was pondering on these ideas related to fear and faith.

p.s. one highlight this week was dinner with Josh and Emily at Zupas :) We love it when Josh is able to visit on his recruiting trips!