Thanks from a 30-year-old single guy

“What’s wrong with him?”

…sometimes seems to be what people think who find out I’m still single at 30 — especially in the state with the youngest average first-marriage age in the country.

“Here’s what you can do to fix yourself…?”

…sometimes follows. There must be something I’m doing wrong that’s kept me from getting married (or being engaged… or having a girlfriend for that matter). And somehow it’s diagnosable within minutes of someone finding that out.

I wish it were that easy.

If there were a formula (stop being so picky; give people more chances; go on a date every week; this woman I’m setting you up with is going to be your wife…), I would be married by now, because I’ve tried every single one ;)

Is it possible that there’s nothing wrong with me?

That’s what I’m here to say thanks for… Some people don’t come from a deficit-based perspective. And it’s a wonderful thing :) I’m grateful for friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers who don’t have marital status as a condition for accepting me.

I’m happy with who I am and where I’m at.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be married or that I’ve given up trying. I want to, and I try. But I want to be happy, just like everyone else… And I don’t want something only partially in my control to be a condition of that.

Thanks to everyone who supports me being happy single!

p.s. Check out these views from the Church Office Building and Joseph Smith Memorial Building in Salt Lake. I was there for a training this week.

13 thoughts on “Thanks from a 30-year-old single guy

  1. Thanks for your thoughts, I too find myself in this situation. It’s nice to hear that there are others that are standing strong and just fine with being single (of course we still hope for an eternal companion eventually). As a good friend says, “I would rather be happy and single than married and miserable.” Sometimes I think we get so excited when there is potential that we abandon some of the things we always wanted and rush into a relationship. But as we follow God and jointly steer with Him as our guide, we will receive all the blessings He has promised.

  2. I will never forget one day one of my ex bosses told me. You know what you are Consuelo (damaged goods) lol it was so funny cause at the time that made me feel like I was never going to be married again lol. Being that I had two kids and single he just told me to be carefull because not all men would want me for the right reasons. You know what we are still young and God is so good that even if I am Damaged goods I am his damaged good and one day God will send me a man that will accept me as I am. Enjoy your youngness and singleness. It makes me so happy to see writings like these because we all have different ways of living our single life #notalone lol. #thepossiblitiesareendless praise God!!!

  3. Great response! You want longevity & everafter; and that happens when you and God jointly steer the process. Continue in prayer–she’s being prepared for you & you’re being prepared for her — for a ‘lifetime.’

  4. Thank you for sharing this strength and courage you find.
    I take courage from your strong testimony of Jesus Christ and His plan for you, and your willingness to follow it wherever He leads.
    Much love.

  5. My question is, “what’s wrong with the girls you are interested in?” They’re the ones I feel sorry for because they’re missing out on knowing you. I’m sorry if I’ve ever tried to give you a “formula” because there isn’t one. Sometimes things workout and sometimes they don’t. I love you just the way you are and I’m happy you’re happy. (And between me and you, I tell my friends that you’re my favorite brother because of how kind and accepting you are of others.) so I’m sorry that you have people who are not accepting of you in return. Love you Zachy! And I’m always here for you if you need to talk or go on a sibling date.

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