They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And yet so many people continue to go on dates… even when it seems insane.
My hat is off to you! Those of you who know how hard it is from first hand experience and keep trying. It’s like C.S. Lewis said,
“You find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down.” (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)
…For me the traumatic part isn’t a particular experience, rather the pattern of experiences.
It’s hard. Hard to keep trying — YSA activities, blind dates, dating apps…
What keeps me going is hope. Hope that something will work out, and faith that this is part of my journey :)
Yesterday I read a passage from Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist where Santiago (young boy, protagonist) asked the alchemist (wise old sage) about why so many others failed at creating the sorcerer’s stone. He replied that,
“They were looking only for gold,” his companion answered. “The were seeking the treasure of their Personal Legend, without wanting actually to live out the Personal Legend.”
Dating isn’t about the end. It’s about the journey. It’s about growth and becoming. Just like how being an alchemist wasn’t about having the sorcerer’s stone, but about making it. And how running a marathon isn’t about standing on the other side of the finish line, it’s about getting there.
In the meantime…
“Faith means that we trust not only in God’s wisdom but that we trust also in His love. It means trusting that God loves us perfectly, that everything He does—every blessing He gives and every blessing He, for a time, withholds—is for our eternal happiness.” (Pres. Uchtdorf, Fourth Floor, Last Door)
So, I choose to keep trusting, hoping, and believing :) and try to enjoy my journey.